just finished reading this:
http://www.salon.com/life/since_you_asked/2010/07/27/back_from_the_dead/index.html
And i think i'm starting to get it !
I been stuck for the last 3 years and getting discouraged with myself for not getting my crap together. My story is totally different from this person asking for advise but the outcome is similar. I realize that maybe this is where i need to be. I always been a doer , caretaker , dependable and a problem solver.....maybe i just need a break and just let things resolve themselves. Life lessons sometimes come in a package you don't want to open but i think i'm finally learning that i can't control everything, can't rescue everybody and mostly that i'm not that important , so i'm hopeful that eventually it will stop hurting so much and i can crawl out of this pit , dust myself off and find a better normal .
10 comments:
Too bad you didn't put that in as a link to click on. It's easily done. Let me know if you need help with this. Sometimes it takes something special for us to see the truth about ourselves. Then we can pick ourselves up and go into another direction than we had been going. It seems easy once you know how. At least it looks that way. Practice makes perfect. Don't be too harsh on yourself if you don't get it right all the time. We very seldom do.
Healing takes such a long time. Celebrate how far you've already come and be gentle with yourself on the remaining journey. Hugs to you today!
Healing takes time. Like you, I was always the caretaker, always doing for others and never having anything done for me. Doing for others was the only way I thought people would care for me. I still have trouble not doing, but I've come a long way with the healing. You're doing wonderfully though. Just recognizing the problem is the first step in healing.
Mary
Healing takes time. Like you, I was always the caretaker, always doing for others and never having anything done for me. Doing for others was the only way I thought people would care for me. I still have trouble not doing, but I've come a long way with the healing. You're doing wonderfully though. Just recognizing the problem is the first step in healing.
Mary
When you find the way, please let me know.
Another caretaker,problem solver,doer,dependable,
compassionate person as if you didn't know that by now.
Lots of us out there. We have alot of company.
Know from what you speak, although our problems are different.
Loosing a child is something I hope I never have to bear.
Please don't be hard on yourself. We are human's finding our way through each our own individual lives. One day at a time.(((hugs)))
When you want to get better it is the beginning of being better...you are so right my friend except you are important especially to yourself. Once you take care of you only then can you care for others. One must have before they can give....Good Luck on your journey, I believe you are on the right track.....big hugs:-)
At times we need to stop and breathe. We need to take a step back and look at everything with an outsder's view. Because everything is not as it seems, but we think we see the right image and hang onto it for dear life. The wheels will start re-turing when you are ready. :)
I just want to hug you! As a fellow caretaker and problem solver, I know the dilemma you have. I hope to someday know how to stop and just let others take care of me. I think I might even frighten people away who may possibly WANT to take care of me! I'm glad you're beginning a journey of healing. Remember, there's no time limit for grieving so don't rush it.
it took me many years but I finally got my shit together..my only problem is I can't lift it and have no place to take it any how..
Mmm, yeah, you can't solve all the world's problems! For some it takes discipline to not "rescue."
Do you know the book "Boundaries" from Henri Cloud and Townsend? Very practical and an eye opener -hope you get a chance to read it.
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